Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Surviving Year One - Puppy Edition

Raleigh turned one.  I only know this because a website sent him an email birthday card along with a reminder to buy more flea and tick medicine.  I have enough trouble keeping up with human birthdays, the pets are definitely below the cut.

What his birthday means is that we are half way to the magical dog age of two.  With kids it is the terrible two's, with dogs it is the terrible first two years.  So if that holds, this time next year we should have a great dog.  Right now, we have a full grown puppy who (along with Scott and I) is ever so slowly learning his doggy manners.  Think of Marley from Marley & Me and you will get the right picture.

What has our first year of dog ownership taught us - oh so many things.  I learned the icky-art of pooper scooping.  It is the canine equivalent of changing diapers.  I can bag up that mess while holding an umbrella, talking on the phone, and waving to a neighbor.

I learned herding dogs herd everything including their human owners.  Last year, he nipped my ass more times than I can count.  He nibbled holes in at least 4 pairs of pants trying to keep me in line.  I can't think of lots of reasons to go shopping for new clothes, but this isn't one of them.  

I learned that perched in bay window Raleigh is King of the Castle.  He barks at everything - the squirrels and cars, the people and pets, even the leaves floating in the wind.  He goes outright ballistic when the UPS man walks up to the door.  He dares you to come inside.  Beware, he may jump on you and lick you to death.

I learned that no shoe is safe.  Put it away, far away.

I learned that cat food is much more appealing than dog food.  Put it away, far away.

I learned that human food is much more appealing than dog food or cat food.  Put it away, far away.

I learned that toilet water is the doggy equivalent of Perrier.  I fill up his water bowl every day, but he always chooses the toilet instead.

I learned that dogs are very expensive.  I think Oprah loves her dogs so much, because she is the only person rich enough to own them.

Finally, I learned that having a dog is pretty awesome.  He is always happy to see us.  He forgives us immediately no matter what we do.  He always wants to go where we do - for a walk, a run, a trip in the car, up to the school, or just to the next room - he just wants to be with us.  It is for that reason, we have learned to put up with all the rest of the exhaustion of having a puppy.

That is life in MomZania.


Sunday, January 10, 2016

The Holidays are History - Now Hop on the Express Train

We are a week into 2016; the holiday season is ancient history.  Everyone should get to ease into the new year.  Short, easy weeks for the beginning of January would be nice.  Instead, Baby New Year arrived and we hopped right on the 2016 Express Train.  January is going to be a blur; wake me up when it's all over.

Basketball didn't just start, Sarah is already 3 games in - plus practice, too. That's basketball 6 times a week - yikes.  The school play, with a rehearsal schedule rivaling Broadway, is just days away from opening night.  Pack a bag Jaley, we will see you again after the curtain closes.  Scott already has a 2016 stamp in his passport - he landed in Germany last night.  I am working with no less than 4 different contractors plus the city to get our dirt farm turned into an average American backyard.  Who would think putting in a couple of plants and a small patch of grass could be so complicated, but this is California.  Complicated is California's middle name.  Heck, even Little League kicked off this weekend. Who has ever even heard of baseball in January? Even the pros don't start until March.  

To make sure every moment is full, we have three family birthday's in the next three weeks.  Slumber parties are relaxing, right?  Why don't we add in a family trip?  What crazy person scheduled that?  Oh right, it was me.  What was I thinking?  I have no idea.  

Then there is a whole list of things I'm avoiding like the school science fair and looming Girl Scout cookie sales.  Maybe if I close my eyes they will disappear.  

If my New Year's Resolution had been to "live every day to it's fullest," I would be getting A+ marks.  I actually resolved to lose a few pounds, which is about the only thing I'm not doing in January.  Heck, maybe if I close my eyes those pounds will disappear, too.  

That is the first stop on the 2016 Express Train.  What is the next stop?  I don't know because I'm now avoiding my calendar.  

Happy New Year to you and yours from the land of MomZania.  May it be healthy, happy, and (not too) busy.


Thursday, December 24, 2015

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - MomZania Style

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas - MomZania Style



It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
Take a look at the moms in line, shopping all the time
With games for boys and Star Wars toys aglow.


It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
A shelf for ev'ry elf,
But the tackiest sight to see is the sweater that will be
On your very own self.  

Kids that behave and an awesome man cave
Is the wish of Mommy and Dad;
Toys that are tech and a gift card cheque
Is the hope of the girl and lad;
And shoppers galore trying to score the latest toy fad.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you sight;
There's a blow up tree in the neighbor's yard, and one in yours as well,
The sturdy kind that doesn't list far right.  

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Soon eggnog will pass,
And the thing that will make it best is the brandy that you test
Right within your glass

Wishing you a Merry Christmas from MomZania!