Thursday, March 29, 2007

The Hole of Guilt

Rant of the Week
They say no one is as good as handing out guilt as a mother. I think that is because for every ounce of guilt that mothers give to everyone else, they dump a pound on themselves. Every morning a mom gets up with the guilt shovel in her hand. Throughout the day, she scoop out a space for each drop of guilt. On a good day, there is just a little ankle deep hole for the day’s guilt to collect in. On a bad day, that hole is up over our head so we can just wallow in our guilt.

Well, last Friday I dug myself the Grand Canyon. Scott was in CA and the girls and I were having a good week. I had taken care of a few things with the rental houses and even gotten some of the yard work done at our own house, so that we wouldn’t waste the weekend doing chores. And since I was feeling guilty (dig a little) that Sarah hadn’t been outside to enjoy the nice weather; we went to the playground on Friday afternoon. I was rough housing with her on the swing and she knocked up against the swing’s chain (dig a little more). She started crying (dig faster). I see no blood and say “your fine – let’s play some more.” And we do. We played at the park for a while longer, headed home, and ended up playing at the neighbor’s for another hour.

After we eat a quick bite and it’s time for bath. As Sarah tips back her head to rinse her hair, I see that her front tooth is chipped (digging really fast).

“What happened to your tooth, Sarah?” (still digging)

“You did that too me at the playground, Momma.” (can’t dig fast enough)

“You mean that happened on the swing” (still digging)

“Yup, momma”

So now, not only had Sarah chipped her tooth, but it happened on my watch, and I was the one who actually caused the accident. I start trying to call her dentist at 6PM on a Friday, but that is futile. So I decide that I’ll call a nurse to get advice. And in our house, that means we are calling Mimi. So no I have to call Jan and tell her that her granddaughter’s tooth is chipped and I did it (keep on digging). Then as soon as I hang up with Jan, Scott calls to check in and I have to confess to him (keep on digging). And like there was a beacon telling everyone to call, Nana just happens to call too (I need a bigger shovel).

And so goes the evening. I just keep digging my hole deeper and deeper. By the time I go to bed, I can’t even see the top. We went to the dentist yesterday and confirmed that the chip is only cosmetic. Sarah THANKFULLY isn’t in any pain and is enjoying her new nickname, Snaggletooth.

Life in the Stroller Lane
Unfortunately, the dentist isn't the only doctor we have been visiting recently. The whole house has been in a vicious cycle of passing around some nasty germs. In the last four weeks, there have been 4 colds which led to 3 cases of stomach virus, 3 ear infections, 2 sinus infections, and 1 case of bronchitis. There have been 6 trips to the doctor and 8 prescriptions filled at CVS. But as of this moment, we all on the right side of our various illnesses and tremendously thankful that we have good health insurance.

Despite being sick, we have squeezed in some fun too. Sarah started swim lessons last week and just loves it. She isn't quite ready for the Olympics, but she is definitely on her way to a solid dog-paddle soon. Like most things, she has absolutely no fear. Jaley is into everything these days. Unlike Sarah, she likes to put everything in her mouth. Unfortunately, most of the things that she finds aren't edible. So I am furiously going through the house and baby-proofing all over again. Jaley is also incredible mobile. She is crawling and cruising everywhere. I blinked yesterday and she had crawled halfway to China.

Scott spent a lot of March on the road for work, but is in town for the next few weeks. He even took a day off this week when the girls were at Day Care and we spent day together. It is so nice for us to just speak with each other in full sentences. When the girls are around, we often only talk in 3 word bits before we are interrupted by a question or crisis.

And in those few moments when I am not playing Mom, I have been chasing down various repairs at our rental houses. We had new tenants move into one house, so there was general clean and fix, plus another house had some issues with the kitchen sink . I will have some tenants moving out in the early summer, but until then, I am just trying to maintain the status quo.

That is our life in the stroller lane. Lots of love.

1 comment:

Di said...

My friends and I turn that whole mother guilt thing around and try to compete for BMOTY...bad mother of the year.

My friend Amy won hands down one year when she sent her daughter to school with a stomach ache. "You'll be fine!" And it turned out to be appendicitis.

Another mom I know was saying goodbye to her brother and her brother picked up the 3 year old by the hands and swung her around. Later the 3 year old was complaining that her arm hurt. The mother said something to the effect of "Stop being such a drama queen!" Turned out she had a dislocated shoulder.

We all hurt our kids in some ways...but we give them so much love it more than makes up for it! And if you still feel really bad, just enter whatever you did in the BMOTY competition!