Tuesday, June 18, 2013

It Wasn't Smooth, But it was Hilarious

My last blog posted at 10:41AM.  It was all rainbows and unicorns and thoughtful memories about our time in North Carolina.  Little did I know, that all hell was fixing to break loose.  The next 36 hours held in store a stinky, exhausting, and hilarious tale that would only happen in the Stroller Lane.

FRIDAY 10:41AM:  My prior post was a final farewell to all our friends in North Carolina.

11:00AM:  Tropical Storm Andrea made her full appearance.  It was officially a horrible day to move. The guys loading our truck should be nominated for sainthood.

12:15PM:  Tow truck came to transport one of the cars to Cali.  Me:  "Can you please take Scott's new car first, and leave me with my old, dirty minivan?"  The driver, "No Ma'am, that's not what my sheet says." And off goes my minivan, with it's many, cup holders.  Big mistake.

12:30PM:  Drove off in Scott's new car to get lunch for the team packing the house.

12:45PM   Walk out of Subway and am immediately soaked to the bone, all my umbrellas are packed.  Not a good day to wear a white t-shirt. OH CRAP!!! 

12:47PM:  Entire 40 ounce Sweet Tea dumped into the floor vent and electrical wiring of Scott's car - the car with only 600 miles on the odometer.  "Why did they take the minivan first! The one with 57 cup holders" I curse. OH CRAP!!!

12:50PM:  Couldn't go home (it's blocked by the moving truck).  Kim, my neighbor, came to the rescue with cleaning supplies, fans, and moral support. She should also be nominated for sainthood. 

12:55PM:  Tow truck showed up to pick up Scott's car!  I freak out.  "You can't take his car!!! I haven't cleaned it.   It's soaking wet with half a gallon of sweet tea!!"

1:10PM  After waiting quite awhile, as I scurried about, the driver announces "Ma'am, I really need to take the car."

1:11PM:  I start crying.  Oh the power of a soaking wet woman crying.  He called his boss and changed the pick up time to 5PM - HALLELUJAH!!!! 

1:20PM:  On the phone with Scott's cousin, a mechanic, to find out what damage I had actually done to Scott's car.  Meanwhile, I was texting Scott - get home from work NOW, NOW, NOW.  (SIDE NOTE:  The car arrived two days ago, all dried out, no worse for wear, but the extra cleaning and time probably made the difference. HALLELUJAH!!!!)

1:30PM:  Unbeknown to me, while I was dealing with the soggy car, the movers packed all of my clothes to long term-storage, despite them being tagged for temporary housing.  So now I all I have to wear is the 5-day supply of clothes I brought to Cali in my carry-on bag and an evening gown that was packed with Scott's suits. OH CRAP!!!!

3:30PM:  I couldn't find Epy, our cat.  We've had this cat 12 years and she has NEVER left the house ONCE, why couldn't I find her.  OH CRAP!!!!  The phone rang, I got distracted.

4:05PM:  Still pouring rain.  I still couldn't find Epy.  A mover yelled up the stairs "Do you have kids? They are at the door."  OH CRAP!!! In 179 days of school, the girls have never gotten home from the bus earlier than 4:25, but today, today of all days they are home - home to an empty house - in a tropical storm 15 minutes early.  You have got to be kidding me.  I felt like the worst mom ever!!!  Scott and I gathered them up and talked about how moving is hard.  It is hard for all of us.  We managed to dry the tears, mostly mine, and pull ourselves back together again.

5:30PM:  The house was empty - time for the final walk through.  We STILL couldn't find EPY!!!!  We had a flight at 6:15AM and OUR CAT was LOST.  OH SUPER CRAP!!!!

6:30PM:  The truck was gone, no signs of Epy.  We were all starving.  We decided to go to dinner and maybe she would come home on her own.

7:30PM:  Scott's back to the house, while I took the kids for FroYo - No Epy!!! OH CRAP!!!!

8:30PM:  Back to the house and all the neighbors were looking with me, promising to ship Epy at a later time if we didn't find her that night (I told you they were the best neighbors ever).   No Epy!!!!  But the NC mosquitoes gave me one helluva of a send off.

10:30PM:  Scott headed back looking for Epy.  A Hail Mary and we aren't even Catholic.  But it worked.  She was at the house.  HALLELUJAH!!!!

SATURDAY 12:00AM:  We finally finished packing for our the flight.

1:00AM:  Finally fell asleep

3:10AM:  Alarm clock rang - we had a flight to catch.

4:15AM:  Wrangled the kids out of bed.

4:20AM:  Wrangled the sedatives into the cats (Buford and Epy) and them into their carriers.  YES, both cats flew with us on the plane.

4:30AM:  We headed to the airport only 5 minutes late.

4:31AM:  Buford pooped in his carrier.  No problem, I had put puppy pads in the bottom, so I pulled that one out and put a clean one in. OH LITERALLY CRAP!!!!

4:34AM:  Buford peed in his carrier - and all over ME too.  I am soaked in cat pee!  No time to worry about that - just drive to the airport Scott.  OH JUST AS BAD AS CRAP!!!

4:45AM:  We pulled into the airport and Buford pooped in his carrier again!!  And this time Buford is covered in it.  We pull up to the gate.  Scott unloaded the luggage and checked the bags, while I tried to deal with the cat. OH LITERALLY CRAP!!!!

4:49AM:  I took the stinky mess called Buford out the carrier and put him in the car and shut the door.  I went to open the door.  It was locked - WITH THE KEYS INSIDE!  The keys were locked in the rental car.  We were definitely going to miss our flight.  OH CRAP!!!!!!

5:10AM:  While waiting for the airport police to open the car, I changed out of my jeans, right there at the curb at RDU.  I really didn't care that they were the shorts I had worn for the past three days or who saw me change, I was covered in cat pee - I needed out of those jeans - and I needed out of them right then.

5:15AM:  The police showed up and miraculously got into the car in 5 minutes flat.  HALLELUJAH!!!!

5:20AM:  Into the family bathroom at RDU, Buford needed a bath.  I got him all wet, before I realized the sink didn't drain.  Plus, the auto-paper towel dispenser only gave towels 3 inches at a time.  The mess was getting worse not better.  OH CRAP!!!!   Finally got him less stinky, got me somewhat sanitized, and the bathroom - well I'm so sorry to the janitorial crew at RDU - I tried to clean up the mess.

5:45AM:  Turned the corner and saw the longest security line I have ever seen at the RDU airport.  OH CRAP!!!! BUT Scott has flown like a zillion miles this year and has super-star status, so we get to go right to the front of the line. HALLELUJAH!!!!

6:05AM:  RAN to the gate with 2 adults, 3 kids, and 2 cats and RACED right onto the plane!!!!  They hit us in the ass as they shut the plane doors.  We made the flight.  HALLELUJAH!!!!

9:15AM PDT:  Landed in San Francisco.  No one slept on the flight - including the cats.  Darn sedatives never did work.  Buford had one more accident, but we managed to keep the mess and more importantly the stink contained.

9:16AM:  Text messages started flying in from our California real estate agent.  No rest for the weary.  House hunting is war out here.  We needed to shop that day, because there were actually a few houses that would work for our posse.  OH CRAP!!!!

10:00AM:  Get to the Hertz counter - Reservation?  They have lost one of our reservations.  OH CRAP!!!!

12:00PM:  Finally leave the airport.  HALLELUJAH!!!!

1:30PM:  Start house hunting.

10:41PM:  Crashed into bed absolutely exhausted.  Didn't even bother to find my toothbrush. HALLELUJAH!!!!

And so, with the grace of an bull in a china shop the Harrell clan departed North Carolina and arrived in California.  The good news, we have stories to talk about at every family gathering for the next 20 years.  Plus, after that departure, the rest of the bumps in the move process (of which they are infinite) seem a little less daunting (at least most of the time).  In the two weeks since our arrival, we indeed, have started to settle in.  There are many more tales to share.  I will soon.  However, this post is entirely too long already.

That is life in the Stroller Lane - California Edition. 


Dani said...

So funny Gigi! You guys really had a time of it, but it's good to hear you are safe and sound in Cali! Enjoy and good luck!

Amy Miller said...

thanks for the laughs! Welcome to the land of fruits and nuts--judging by your post, you'll fit right in! Looking forward to a visit!

Lee Highsmith said...

That...is an epic journey.

I'll just say it this way - you really, really love your cats... ;)

Anonymous said...

Hey Gigi! I'm glad you are there safely, though a little worse for wear! ?) It reminds me of some of our moves. We left TN for FL with a Rottweiler and a cat in a mini van for example. Did I mention that they hated each other? We had a flat tire in the middle of nowhere less than four hours into our journey! Haha! Thanks for reminding me as I can laugh now ..... not so much then!