Monday, July 8, 2013

More Funny Stories from the Moving Lane

There is a reason why moving ranks #3 on those life's most stressful events tests (after the real big ones - death and divorce).  Moving ain't easy.  We have been in California exactly one month, in that time we could fill an entire season of America's Funniest Home Videos.  For your laughing pleasure. 

  • Tales of Getting Lost - Over and Over and Over Again
    • I have cried, cursed, and gotten lost on every major highway in Santa Clara County - of which there are many and they are all under construction.  Like a house cat, I eventually find my way home.  
    • I truly believe that Siri, Wazes, and every other GPS App are all a little evil.  I envision them laughing in cyberspace as they direct me via the most asinine route ("in 500 feet turn left into the wall and proceed over the cliff") simply because I don't know any better.  Sometimes those asinine routes unearth some wonderful treasures, like the day we accidentally found San Jose's best ice cream shop and our new favorite flavors "The 408" and "Eastside Horchata." .
    • Good news, I am finally getting a handle on where we live right now.  Bad news, it is time to move out of temp housing and relocate to an entirely different city and start over again. Good news, I told Scott I'm never moving again, so this is the last time I'm going to have to do this!!!
  • How Can Filling One Prescription Be This Hard
    • I brought a simple prescription to the pharmacy to be filled.  The pharmacist announced quite loudly that it was "ILLEGAL!"  What did she think?  Did I have a a meth lab disguised as a prescription written by a board certified American doctor who just happened to not be from California.  The prescription may not have been valid, but I don't think the San Jose police were ready to cart me off to prison.  
    • Two days later at a local doctor's offers for the same said prescription .  The doctor said all we needed to do was change our diet we didn't need medication, but funny thing was the doctor never asked me what we were eating to begin with.  She refused to even call our doctor in NC or look at hand carried documents verifying everything is legit.  Now I'm getting pissed.
    • New idea.  Overnight the prescription back to NC and have my mom fill the prescription and overnight it back to CA.  UPS looses the package for 24 hours (and also refused to refund the $50 in shipping costs).  Good news, the medicine arrived, just in the nick of time, we had used the final pill the very morning the package arrived.  
    • I now have a new doctor in our new town and a new prescription written legally in California, so this problem will not (hopefully) ever happen again. 
  • Taking the Cat for A Walk and Other Stories
    • Our cat Buford is an indoor-outdoor cat, and hence is not going to change his behavior because our our new apartment's indoor-cat rules.  For the first two weeks we were here, we tried to keep him inside, we really did.  He nearly drove us all crazy, with his ceaseless meowing at all hours of the day and night.  And then we decided finally to let him out.   So now, we take him out for a nightly walk - though he absolutely won't wear a leash - he is a cat after all.  So he walks and we follow.  And if we loose sight of him, well, he eventually comes back and we hope the apartment police don't call. 
    • Where is the jelly?  I can't seem to find the jelly or pretty much anything in the local grocery stores.  You know how it is, you know where everything is in "your" store.  But, go to a new store, and you can't find anything.  The milk, what aisle?  The bread, who knows?  The eggs, probably still in the hen house.  So I wander up and down every aisle a couple of times and fill the buggy until it looks full enough to check out - then I head home and hope I can conjure up dinner from what I did find at the store. 
And the list goes on and on.  From the missed turns to the mispronunciations, I am fumbling and bumbling my way through this move.  Tomorrow, we officially close on our house.  While that is a really big event, what makes it a really big a day is that I'm braving the DMV.   Time to face the lines and the fees and get a new driver's license for me and tags for the car.  I'm sure I will have many new stories to tell after that visit - that is, of course, if Siri doesn't get me too lost and I actually make it there.

That is life in the Stroller (and Moving) Lane.

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