Here is how it is supposed to go on move day. Load your junk, drive it to your new place, unload your junk, and crash into bed that night exhausted. That is for regular people. When the Harrell's move, it never follows the script. Instead our moves are hilarious chaos. True to form, our recent move had a slew of hilarious moments. Here are the top six.
First, this sure wasn't a corporate move. Since we were on the hook for the bill and were only moving one mile, we (I) decided to save the money do much of it ourselves. With the help of our free child labor and our trusty red wagon, we schlepped as much could. Nothing was properly wrapped or even boxed for that matter, but we managed to get much of our junk over the rental. We only called in the professionals, when we couldn't fit it in the minivan anymore.
Second, we need to work on our scheduling. Self-moving had left us exhausted before move day arrived. Then, problems scheduling forced us to book our move the first week of school. Who does that? Heck, we were at meet the teacher night until after 9pm the night before. Then, Comcast, with all their crummy customer service, came in and made things worse. They forced us to switch our cable/Internet on the exact move day or wait 3-weeks with no service. Scott had to babysit the empty new house for 5 hours waiting for the cable guy, who of course arrived after the scheduled window. Despite all of our scheduling mishaps, the first half of the move went fairly smooth. In fact, so smooth, the movers were determined to finish in one long day instead of two short ones.
Third, add a little spice to your move day with a trip to the ER. With hard-working movers quickly started emptying rooms as I ran around trying to scoop up everything small we had missed. Out went the dining table and in I came, right into the heavy glass light fixture over where the table used to be. How did I forget that was there? Crap, that really hurt. Then, I kept bustling along until I saw the look of horror one of the movers faces. I had split my forehead open on the light. A quick glance in the mirror revealed a trip to the ER was in my future. I called Scott and screamed, "[Expletive] Comcast has to finish up now, I'm bleeding down my face!" He came home and off to the ER I went. Lucky the cut looked worse than it was. I was home in just 60 minutes (probably a World Record for the ER). A little Dermabond and a bit of a black eye, but mostly good as new.
Fourth, the kingdom was lost for lack of a screw. As two of the movers made a trip to get the last few things at the old house, two guys stayed at the new house to assemble the beds. That is until they realized the screws to our bed were missing. After 30 minutes of looking, it was time for a trip to Home Depot. With the store closing just a few minutes, it was a mad dash to get to the store. Luckily Scott was behind the wheel and he drives fast. Just in time, he and the movers grabbed the screws as Home Depot locked the door behind them. We were going to have a place to rest our head that night.
Fifth, after 11 hours of moving the truck will give up. Here we were in the home stretch. As the 9 o'clock hour approach, the guys loaded up the last few things by flashlight. All that was left was a one mile drive and a few things to empty, when the truck died right in the middle of the road. Now instead of finishing the move, it was time to call in a big tow truck. As the 11 o'clock hour arrived, off went the broken down truck along with the last of our stuff. We were so tired, we really didn't care. Luckily, those last few items were delivered the very next day in a different truck, by the same team men who had worked so very, very hard the day before.
Sixth, nothing says housewarming gift like a sewer back up. Yup, the boxes were still being unpacked, when the sewer backed up. Just like our Easter Sunday sewer backup, it was once again on a holiday weekend. Once again, the nasty stuff was bubbling up in places it shouldn't. Once again, we were forced to tinkle in the lawn until the plumber could fix the problem. Happily, once again, it is fixed. There are some more plumbing repairs to be made next week, but we are back to flushing toilets and running water.
As I write this, I have repair people working simultaneously on the washing machine, the ant problem, and the furnace. The good news is by the end of today, we hope to have a fully functioning and pest-free home. As an added bonus, this is a rental, so we don't have to pay the repair bill. That is good news.
That is life in MomZania.