Thursday, March 5, 2015

When Did I Forget the Word No?

Business people know it, world leaders know it, heck it is a toddler's favorite word.  No, no, no.  Why is it that I and so many women often struggle to say no?  When does it happen?  Why does it happen?

Some experts will tell you women are wired to say yes; it has to do with our XX chromosome combo.  Other experts will tell you it is about socialization and how women learn to play nice, while men learn to play to win.  They are probably both right.  Women are doomed by both nature and nurture to inevitably say yes.

Saying yes, in isolation, is a great thing.  If folks didn't say yes, volunteer committees would never get filled and special projects at the office would never get started.  The problem comes when we say yes to too many things.  As Oprah Winfrey said, "you can have it all, just not all at once."

Saying no is hard.  I am not alone in this struggle.  I found articles about the yes epidemic.  Thousands of website are dedicated to teaching folks how to utter that simple two letter-word your toddler screams at the top of his lungs. My personal favorite - 25 Badass Ways To Say No.   Maybe the next time I am asked to coordinate something, I will respond with #15, "I would love to say yes to everything, but that would be stupid." Will I be enough of a Badass to say that? Probably not.  But I am Italian, so you never know.

Until I perfect my no-saying skills, I am super busy - like every other woman I know.  Basketball is winding down, swim lessons are starting, and we are making the final counts for another Girl Scout cookie season.  Girls on the Run is underway and I am coaching, though I'm not quite sure what I'm doing.  The house renovation is in crunch mode as we race to the finish.  School projects are back in full swing and I am reminded once that I am not smarter than a 5th grader.  It is time to think about moving again and summer camp plans.  Scott is traveling.  I started doing volunteering with Hospice, which I have been planning to do for a long time.  Yes,  I have definitely said Yes to too many things.  Maybe one of these days, I will say yes to saying no.  Being that I am a woman that is highly unlikely.

That is life in MomZania.

1 comment:

Culley 5 said...

Even with a no, your generority ensues. Each person who touches your life is better for it - whether yes or no.