Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Fire Drill Fail

The fire department recommends families should practice a home fire drill every three months.  Since having kids, we have had (maybe?) three home fire drills.  Those few times we have actually planned a family fire drill, we have all gotten outside quickly and efficiently.  We have met at the mailbox and applauded ourselves on just how safe we were.

That was until last Thursday night.  If Fire Drills were graded, we would have received an F!  For some unknown reason at 3:00AM, our amazingly loud, painful-to-the-ears, alarm started going off. Scott and I burst out of bed in complete confusion.  MAKE THAT SOUND STOP!!!

1-Minute Mark: We had just installed a home security system, which was having tons of issues, so I immediately thought it was the culprit.  I tap in the code, the screen says "Alarm Disabled." The ringing just keeps blaring!!!  I type the code again, and again, and again.  Absolutely, no luck!  MAKE THAT TERRIBLE SOUND STOP!!!

5-Minute Mark:  Scott screams at me over the horrible beeping, "Do you think it's the fire alarm?"  That is when we both take a moment to actually listing to the noise.  In between, the excruciating beeping, a voice is also screaming "FIRE." Why are we such idiots that we didn't hear it yelling "fire?"  MAKE THAT HORRIBLE SOUND STOP!!!

15-Minute Mark: Jaley and Sarah are up.  Yes, it took them that long to wake up.  I usher them outside, to escape the horrible beeping.

20-Minute Mark: Where the heck is Mick?  He is still sound asleep in his bed.  This noise is loud enough to wake the dead, but my son is still snoring away.  I usher him outside, too.  CRAP, MAKE THAT SOUND STOP!!!

25-Minute Mark:  Where did I put the giant stack of owner's manuals the builder gave me when we moved in?  Why didn't I read all those manuals?  Now, with a scarf tied around my ears, I find those manuals and even find the one for a fire alarm.  Why is it for a different brand?  Crap, it is the manual for the fire alarm at our last house. F$@#, MAKE THAT SOUND STOP!!!

30-Minute Mark:  I find the right owner's manual.  Scott hits the button to silence the alarm, and for 30 seconds it is quiet.  Then, it starts again.  F$@#, , F$#@, F$#@, MAKE THAT SOUND STOP!!!

45-Minute Mark:  With ladder in tow, we hit the silence button on every single unit in the house.  The blaring noise continues.  We try to find an answer on Google; no luck.  The blaring continues.  PLEASE GOD, MAKE THAT SOUND STOP!!!

60-Minute Mark:  Apparently, the prayer worked.  The blaring stopped.

So there you have it.  The worst fire drill ever.  It took us 20-minutes to get the kids out of the house and we never got ourselves or the pets out.  What a lesson. The fire department is right, we need to practice more and be ever thankful it wasn't an actual fire.

Beyond our malfunctioning fire alarms, life is running pretty smooth.  The kids were back to school this week.  Middle school, 6th grade, for Sarah.  Kindergarten for Mick. And an upper class, 4th grade, for Jaley.  At the Welcome Back Parent Coffee this morning, the school's safety officer proudly announced they had a successful fire drill yesterday.  They evacuated the entire school (700 people) in 2 minutes, 43 seconds.  I need him to come train at our house.

That is life in MomZania.

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